Gentle Peoples -

Trini Christmas Sweet Fuh So! Ok ladies and gentlemen, get somebody to watch the kids, take de phone off the hook an pull up a seat. It's time again for the coveted donkey years ole annual "Trini Christmas Sweet Fuh So Competition". I'm your host Dr. Ram Dass here with my co host Selwyn "Always in Dat" Melly and our field reporter, de man on the street, Ian "where de chaser" Ticko.

So Selwyn, we are pretty much in the mix of things now, what is your take... who you looking at right now as yuh favorite?

Thanks Rammy, let me start by saying this. What we have here are some big players in dis game, I mean these contestants are making magnificent moves towards living up de Trini Christmas! as I have said many times,...with regards to de best time yuh could have in Trini, the rank is, one... Trini Christmas followed by a close Trini Carnival and then Diwali. So we know that we contestants have already either made the better decision between spending Christmas instead of Carnival or doing both.

All right Rammy, with dat said right now I putting my money on Mon-nee-ka "fresh water yankee" Richards. If ya been following Monica career, she leave Trini in 1989 fuh a nanny wok in NY that she neighbor friend tell she bout. At $100USD ah day she over stay on she visa and ent make it back to de island since. So what ah like about Monica? If ya go to she apartment in Brooklyn de place have more Island paraphernalia than all de gift shops in de airport. Dis woman come like Wonder Trini Woman, always wearing one of her many Trini earrings. Ah love her too bad.

Well Selwyn, that sounding good, but I have been watching Monica, and well I ent so sure that she ga manage. Ah have a few reasons. From de time de plane land de woman confused, she ent recognize de airport, or even dem new planes with de Humming Bird picture on de tail, saying Caribbean Airlines. Christmas night I hear she say that she heading down Anchorage, like nobody ent give her de heads up on Wish or Passion yet? Yuh see Brooklyn have some Trini food, but Monica long forget de difference between pastel and paymee. De woman land in Trini looking fuh Chataigne like ting ent have growing seasons down here and vex vex vex when de coconut man tell she $4 fuh a medium jelly.

That is why ah have meh eye on Samson "celly and scotch" natty. De boy mother take out big loan for Samson to go way and beat book, get a degree and make de family proud. He do all ah dat, but while getting some foreign working experience, he get caught up in de big America life. So, he ent reach home permanently yet... but he does still come down all de time to see he people. Ah had to say, de boy could still tell ya de difference between Phoulorie and Accra, and Kurma and Gulab Jamun... And for all those who ent know why dey call him Celly and Scotch, is becuase that is what always in he left and right hand. De man phone blowing up with all kinda call from people who looking fuh Rum bottle for dey Punch a Crème since he have plenty empty. Talking bout Punch a Crème, ah see one setta contestants get disqualify fuh serving outta Mauby bottle. Gentle people please... yuh ent want yuh Punch a Crème smelling like Mauby, if ya need a rum bottle, call Samson.

So let's go to Ian and get a update. Ian... where yuh is boy?

Tank ya much Doc, I down here in Lopinot limin wit de man who I sure taking this Trini Christmas prize, none other than Chris "Everywhere Smurf" Walker. Right now he limin with his current ouman, Janelle "Borrow Clothes" Smarties. In de last week it ent have a beat that this man miss; Exodus pan yard, Parang in Maracas Valley, Christmas Carrols in Long Circular Mall, toy shopping in St. James fuh he nephews, painting house down by he aunty in Curepe, flight attendant boat cruise and last night drunking in Scotia Bank Christmas party (me ent even know he have a bank wok)... and now he here takin in de Coco Dance at de Lopinot Heritage Festival. I ent know where he getting de energy to do it, but that is why dey does call him Everywhere Smurf. De boy invent "I in dat." I was talking to him earlier bout de competition, and he had was to laugh. He telling me how, if he competition ent here in this festival, den dey ent know Trini Christmas. Plenty people feel Lopiont is some make up name like "quito quito." It have people singing bout Moruga but ent know where it is far less that it really famous fuh growing de best Sorrel in Trinidad. So as de man say, Drink yuh sorrel, it ga ease de quarrel and good for de bowel.

But watch meh Doc, ah have to run, ah partner about to get tief in a little gambling game up by Cemetery Street.

Thank you Ian. That man always chasing someting oui. Well people, we going an take a little break here, but when we come back... we going an see who know whether is to boil or draw sorrel, which contestant going church/party or both come Christmas night and den we going an do a preliminary tally of who have de most house to house visits to date.

Stay Tuned to de Desk of Dr. Ram Dass,
Trini Jungle Juice Team

TJJ tells it as it is, no opinions, no justifications, always jus reporting free from 'fear' or 'favoritism'.

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